There has only been one time in my life where the Divine's voice was so unbelievably strong. I without a doubt knew that God was speaking to me, and guiding me. That was in July and August of 2008, more than an entire year ago. It was a direct, strong, and present voice. I never felt so convinced of anything else in my life, and if you follow my blog, I think you know what that is.
Two weeks ago I drove home down the alley of my street towards my house. The sky was the most gorgeous, rich shade of cerulean blue. That perfect color only late autumn in Minnesota can produce. Small leaves, the shade of gold floated down from the trees below and fell like confetti on my dash.
I felt God's love, and the guidance once again.
For a few weeks during the summer I lamented over my current work situation, I felt that little might come from it. I was unbelievably wrong, and the confirmation has been unfolding before me in the most vibrant of ways.
Number one, I grew in immense patience. I am not kidding here when I tell you that a two year old, not to mention a classroom of them can get to you in ways you can't imagine. As in, I didn't even recognize my own voice. However, patience is not "earned" it literally is experienced in the trenches. So there, I learned patience, and I'm thankful for it because anxiety was never a flattering color on me.
Two, wonderful things have come out of this job experience. I have formed friendships with families and been invited into people's personal lives and learned their stories. I have gained photography opportunities, with families and organizations (I promise more on that later!)
At the same time I feel like something is coming, there's something on the cusp. Tonight I drove over to babysit W & O, whose family I've gotten to know quite well. I was telling their mom about a vivid dream I had:
I was pregnant and married, frightened about the upcoming pain of childbirth. I cried, out of fear. I was comforted by my "husband."
Today while working before babysitting at an event for Melly (I know, is it hard to keep straight?) I walked up to the style editor of THE magazine I dream of working for and gave her my resume. I didn't know her from anyone, and we ended up connecting. Who knows.
So, the moral of my dream.
And right now I sit here, fully aware of how my past connects my future, the ability to connect the dots and see some sort of sense of progress.
It feels good, and I know- I'm on the right path.