Creole Wisdom

another read.

Currently, thanks to the darling Emma, I am reading Smashed by Koren Zalickas.  I don't know what kept me from picking this up before.  After all, we know how much I enjoy a good memoir or personal story. Maybe I assumed it was some sort of "I was drunk through all four years of college sorority binge" thing which I don't connect with because I don't believe those stories really exist.  Pledged never did it for me. Greek life is too different "up here" than in the south, and I don't believe you can really explain all that it is.  But... before I go down "that road" (and by that I mean the Greek life "real" information road) here are my thoughts on this book:

First off, it is written in a style I was not sure I liked, or could follow well enough.  Koren does a good job of throwing you into stressful, detail rich situations that are almost overwhelming.  You need to focus, and it's not a glaze your eyes over one line and still be with the story line kind of book. 

It is a difficult read, not because it is traumetizing, because unless you are living under a rock, you probably know worse people and more horrific stories than I have come across yet on page 94.  It's not about shock value, which I am learning is the author's best tactic. She's really matter-of-fact about the whole thing.

Koren's relationship with alcohol is interesting.  I am not a heavy drinker, never have been, and my vice of choice is shopping (lol) and pointless flirtations with cute men. She takes you through how her childhood became spotted with early and very influential experiences with drinking.  She remembers her first drink.  While I, like a lot of people, cannot.  It was not memorable, but for her it was- almost like a spell I think.

When I read things like this, and I truthfully felt this way when Jana would tell me crazy stories about her adolescence, I kept thinking back on how my high school years were much more dull than I assumed.  Maybe I just imagined I was "edgy" for skipping cross country practice, or hosting the prom party.  Whatever the case, I am thankful for that mundane experience where I was kept from trauma-

So- all in all.  Good book.  I am enjoying it, and I cannot help but think of how much the character reminds me of some people I know.  The girls who get too crazy, who are attention starved, or a sad combination of both.  We probably all know someone like the author who has really had to struggled with something that is very addictive- if out of control.  I am thankful for the "female perspective" and I am glad that her book has shed so much light on out of control drinking among women.

biographies.

Don't know what it is, but this summer I've been into biographies. 

Another blog featured praise for Kelly Corrigan's The Middle Place. I knew after shortly exploring the author's website and viewing a few more youtube readings that I needed to pick this up.  I feel connected to the author's story- her love for her father, their connection, it's something I know and live.  Her ability to keep on keeping on through illness is inspirational.  Her storytelling style is entertaining, and I could hardly put it down.

I have seen The Glass Castle in enough bookstores to have lost count.  I've picked it up dozens of times.  But I had reservations.  But then yesterday I read a post on a message board, and about 20 people loved it.  So I bought it today.  I've already read quite a bit.  The book is easy to read, and Jeanette Walls' story is both entertaining and repulsive.  I cannot believe people are out there living like this in our country!  I am again thankful for smart parents who had enough sense (or is it luck?) to go to school, get good jobs, and wait until they could afford a family to start one.  There is such a frightening aspect about poverty. It is my own personal nightmare.  Absolutely terrifying.  Jeanette Walls has gone on to be an accomplished writer, and has no bitterness for the awful circumstances of her youth.  Her story is worthwhile.

before beyonce

Before "single ladies" and "no scrubs" and "bills, bills, bills," there was my father.  I think each girl can say that her father did a phenomenal job raising them, and that they had the best dad out there.  So, like all of you, I think my dad is "the best."  He makes me laugh like no one else, has been continually supportive (emotionally, spiritually, and dare I say it... financially) and I feel blessed.  I know people have "daddy issues."  But one thing my father always taught me was...

Don't settle! 

My father treated me well, so that (yes) I expect to be treated well.  I am not "entitled" to this just by being born, I need to act, give, and believe in the concept of respect before that can happen.  My dad did good.  He washed my hair, took me to work out with him at the Marsh club, drove me to high school (every. single. morning), and still sends me good music. 

I didn't need a pop song to tell me to avoid men without jobs who want you to pay for everything (bills, bills, bills) or men who cannot commit (single ladies) or just other trifling folk (no scrubs).  I had my dad, right there, raising me that way.  Now, granted, I have made my mistakes, but thankfully I have not settled for one. 

If you're going to be pretty, sexy, and fun for someone it had better be someone good!  Happy Monday!

safe.

I went to the mall of America with J yesterday.  It was a typical Saturday trip, gorgeous sunshine and no gigantic crowds of people.  Near the end of our time we stopped in at H&M, a giant store with racks and racks of mod, modern clothing at Forever 21 prices.  J and I split up, him in the mens' and I in the ladies' department.

Not five minutes into a rack of spring skirts I noticed, along with the rest of the store, a woman walking quickly around- calling out the name of a little girl.  She had lost her daughter.  Two, nervous, but calm store employees were looking around, and other people's suggestions of where she might be "hiding" were thrown out.  As the minutes passed the woman became more and more frantic.  It was a terrible, horrifying thing to watch.  She kept calling her name, a smaller child glued to her hip, and pacing behind the store employee who had a phone and was calling security. 

Every single woman in that store stood still.  They put aside whatever they were looking for/at and stood silently, all with the same look on their faces.  I kept having images in my head of kidnappings and SVU episodes, and I tried to push them out with a trip to the fitting room.

By the time I got out, they had found her. 

J and I stepped out of that store, our new purchases in hand, and he said to me softly, "my mother never lost me" (and he's one of four) and I replied, "mine either." 

I'm not going to say that only negligent mother's loose their children in H&M, but I'm just glad my mother never lost me.  Or dad for that matter. 

I do not believe we live in a world of the 1950s where children can just walk anywhere they want.  I know I live in a safe city, in a safe state, in the middle of perfect Midwest, but I know things happen here and everywhere. I wish our world was safe enough for midnight walks home, and carrying an open purse, and no babysitters- but it's not.  That's not to say our world is overly dangerous either.  We just live in a place on the line between "it can't happen to us" to "it just did."  I am thankful for seat belts, and insurance, and locks, and zippers on purses. 

it's time.

Remember this post?  It's time to talk about it.

say it loud.

It's black history month readers! I love it. I think this is an especially exciting year for African Americans, I know it was for me.  There was the obvious:

And aside from making history, there are some other (not so often mentioned) people in my people's history whom I would like to honor...

I channel this woman often.  She is the black equal of Audrey Hepburn.  A golden, gorgeous, siren of the screen... Lena Horne.  What a beautiful woman and trailblazer!

I've taken so many African American history and lit classes, but no one can write a good book like Toni Morrison.  Her work is certainly controversial, but an author to celebrate none the less.  My favorite is The Bluest Eye.

Those who risked their lives, jobs, family, and family's safety to protest for basic rights.  I love these signs, and am going to try to find an original at some point to put in my house.  What a powerful image.

And the students who rode on buses, to desegregate Boston...

I am proud to learn of your legacies this month, and as often as I can.  I will continue to learn about my history, so that I can recognize truly how far we have come despite... lynchings, medical testing, rape, beatings, murder, poverty...

Happy Black History Month. 

election day recap.

On Tuesday, I voted for the second time.  The first time for a president.  It was fun, and this time, I didn't mess up on the ballot. 

So let me just make it clear: I'm conservative, but I don't just vote with "my party."  I knew for a while that I would vote for Obama.  He embodies the American spirit, is capable, and a wonderful man for the job.  He is black, and our country desperately needs him.  I could write an entire blog about how our country has benefitted, and would not be in the position it is today without the help of free labor.  Those were my people picking cotton, and it's only right that we have an person representing myself and my heritage in the white house.  But being Black is not the end of the story.  It is just part of the whole. 

I read a lot of blogs.  A lot.  And what I find really alarming are the negatives around this new man who will be our president.  I'm never one for that.  In high school I would get so angry when people would say nasty things about George W.  So, please, stop posting mean things about Barack, and his beautiful family.  It is hurtful and unpatroitic. Yes, I called you upatriotic.

If you love this country, and trust the electoral college, and believe in the democratic process then writing silly accustaions about our president defaces what our country stands for.  We have no time for this, we need to get to work. 

And before those who disagree with Barack continue to call him "socialist" etc...  Remember: without all those minorities who went out and registered and voted on the 5th, Proposition 8 in CA would never had passed.  Statistically, those African Americans who voted for 8 also voted for Obama. 

I guess it's not so bad after all ; )

Okay, so since that is done... on with election night photos...


obama girls • snuggly sorority sisers watching CNN • my "I voted" sticker on the laptop • watching TV for hours straight •

We had so much fun. I love election time. I camped out at about 12pm, right after I voted, and did not leave the couch (except for potty, snack breaks) until about midnight.  I live for this! A ton of people were there, and everyone was so festive.

The news was hilarious.  Anderson looked great, and the computerized things they had popping up were fun to see, too.  The quote of the night that had everyone busting up was, (in regards to Sarah Palin, after McCain's concession speach) "she is a really intelligent woman.  I can see her pursuing a carrer in the entertainment buisness or politics."  Ah!

After Obama' speech, Kate and I ran out to campus to snatch some political posters for ourselves. People were honking their horns, and smiling.  It was a gorgeous night!

a long overdo political entry

•I know, I know.  I was supposed to go to the RNC.  But then... but then I became a libertarian with political leanings all over the freaking place.  Basically comprised of socially liberal, fiscally very conservative.  O la la free market...

Here are my thoughts:
Dear John McCain,

Babe.  We need to have a chat.  You know how in high school Annalise and I were obsessed with you?  Well, it would be really cool if you knew how to check your e-mail.  Or maybe write your own blog.  I promise to make you a blog banner...

On the other hand- dang you wife is lookin' SMOKING for her age.  That's really cool.

Dear Barack Obama,

You are everywhere.  Your name is chalked on every inch of campus, your initials frosted on top of cupcakes back this summer at the Y (are you shocked?)...  How are you?  Can I just say that your wife was looking amazing in magenta.  That is certainly her color!  Goodness. 

And yes, I missed the RNC because I was doing sorority recruitment, which I know fellow Reps would totally respect. 

Also, I watched it with A (remember from last spring?), now known on this blog as Sir. Phillip, among red wine- other sigma chis, and a cute dog... But, if I had gone, I promise you I would of looked hott in some navy blue number.  There's always next time.

Turning Away From Hate

Last night, on campus, Hillel (the Jewish student organization) put on a lecture featuring TJ Leyden, an ex-neo nazi.  The first time I saw the poster on campus I knew I had to go, and it was an amazing experience.  Going into the lecture I knew that I would hear things that would disturb, even scare me. 

After this slide came up the room grew quiet.  TJ Introduced himself and began explaining his life in the movement:

TJ grew up in a middle class Irish-Catholic family and got into the movement as a teenager.  He was a leader in it, recruited other kids, and promoted racism and violence-

TJ is an amazing public speaker.  I thought I knew quite a bit about race history in this country and the rising white-nationalist movement.  He taught me things I had never even heard of, things that literally blew my mind. 

For instance.  TJ exposed the fact that seperatists of all races, i.e. Neo-Nazis and the Nation of Islam have been meeting together for years...

A seperatist is just a p.c. word for racist, and a seperatist is a seperatist no matter what color they are.  Here is a plan that the sepeartists hatched for America:

The catalyst for TJ's change of heart came from his two young sons.  He and his wife and children have since been out of the white power movement for years.  Because of who he is TJ is constantly at risk from attack from Neo-Nazis.  His best friend in the movement wrote a hateful song about him, he has been shot at more times than he can count...

After the presentation I felt compelled to meet this man who I think firmly embodies the word "courage."  He was talking to a woman who asked him, "how have you survived, how are you still alive?"  He replied, "I am a religious person and I firmly believe God has a plan for me, to go around and speak about this issue..."  A girl behind me asked him if he was Jewish.  He said, "I'm actually LDS."  That is when I perked up, and said "me too" and thanked him for coming to the University. 

It was an amazing experience, I continue to marvel at hatred and am humbled by those who say "no more."

life is beautiful. live.

One of my pet peeves at work is when I go to change a baby and there's gunk in their belly button.  Not like the umbilical cord residue that comes out on its own, but other stuff. Like, really? It would take .2 seconds to wipe that out.  Gross.  But, after pondering about belly buttons and umbilical cord residue I realized that it had been a long time since I'd seen that whole Miracle of Life movie.  You know, the movie they show you in health class senior year in which you cannot see a thing because *ahem* the mother does not groom.  Yes.  I just wrote that on my blog, but it's true.

So I went onto youtube, which is where I go when I want to watch anything.  I typed in "live birth."  And had to verify my birthday, should that of been a sign?

This one was not scary.  I saw that and said, "okay I think I could do that, it doesn't look too bad."  but holy #@*! this one was.  Wiping the blood out of the infant's eyes... ahh!

The verdict is I still love my job and I still want to have 5 kids.  Cuts or not (shudder).